To: All staff
From: Human Resources
Re: Employee Handbook (please read; nobody does)

Employee Handbook

Everything you need to know about working at FAKEDIVIDEND Inc., a company that exists only on Bitcoin and pays a real dividend that is fake.

Sections: The basics · Titles · The dividend · Your desk · Leaving · The meeting · Projects · Cards · After opening day

1. The basics

What is FAKEDIVIDEND Inc.?: A game for holders of FAKEDIVIDEND, a Counterparty token on Bitcoin. It plays like a parody of a big company: every holder is an employee, your job title comes from how many shares (tokens) you hold, and every quarter Management pays a real on-chain dividend in certificates that are backed by nothing.
How do I get hired?: Hold FAKEDIVIDEND at a Bitcoin address. That's it. HR checks the holder list every few minutes and hires everyone on it automatically. You can buy shares on xcp.fun ↗. Look up any address on the lobby page to see its offer letter.
When does it open?: November 1, 2026 at midnight UTC. Before then you can already look up your title, put your name on your business card. Clock-in and the first quarter start at opening.
Is this a real company, or an investment?: No. It isn't a company, nothing here is a security, and nobody is promising you a return. Holding shares gets you a title, a business card, a vote (after the first dividend) and certificates that are worth nothing on purpose. FAKEDIVIDEND trades on an open market and its price goes up and down; only spend what you'd spend on a meme.
Who runs it?: Management: the creator of FAKEDIVIDEND, who keeps the lights on and signs the on-chain paperwork, like paying each dividend. The Board is something else: two shareholders elected for two quarters at a time, plus Management. The three of them approve community cards and sign off on project work, 2 of 3 (see the meeting).

2. Titles and departments

How are titles decided?: By shares held, and nothing else. Promotions are automatic: cross a line and HR updates your title within a few minutes. Sell below it and you'll be “reassigned”.
Title Shares needed
Unpaid Intern 0
Associate 100,000
Manager 500,000
Director 1,000,000
Vice President 2,000,000
Senior Vice President 5,000,000
Executive Vice President 10,000,000
What does my department mean?: Nothing, which is very realistic. Everyone runs something (Synergy, Vibes, Reply-All…). It's picked from your address, so it never changes, even when you're promoted.

Title	Shares needed
Unpaid Intern	0
Associate	100,000
Manager	500,000
Director	1,000,000
Vice President	2,000,000
Senior Vice President	5,000,000
Executive Vice President	10,000,000

3. The fake dividend

What is the dividend, exactly?: A real Counterparty dividend, paid on Bitcoin to every FAKEDIVIDEND holder at the end of each quarter. It's paid in that quarter's certificate: FAKEDIVIDEND.Q1, then Q2, and so on. The certificates are real tokens in your wallet. They are backed by nothing. We checked.
How much will I get?: One certificate per million shares. 2,500,000 shares gets you 2.5 FAKEDIVIDEND.Q1. Your employee file shows a specimen of the certificate you're on track for. After Q1, shareholders vote on the rate for Q2.
When is it paid?: Every other Sunday. Q1 runs from opening day to Sunday, November 15, when the first dividend is paid; then Q2 pays November 29, and so on. It goes to whoever holds the shares on the record date, the moment it's paid.
Isn't a quarter three months?: Not here. A quarter at FAKEDIVIDEND Inc. is two weeks. Management rounds up.
Do I need to do anything to receive it?: No. Certificates arrive at your address automatically and show up in any Counterparty wallet. You pay no fees.
Are the certificates worth anything?: No, and that's the joke. Collect one from every quarter if you like. Nobody is buying them back.
Who pays the fees?: Not you, and not the shares. The small Bitcoin fees for paying the dividend come out of the company's revenue (below).
Does the company make money?: A little. Every pixel painted on the Million Dollar Billboard counts as a sale for FAKEDIVIDEND Inc., and the lobby's Sales floor keeps score. Revenue pays the dividend's network fees first; anything left goes to bounties and, later, projects the Board approves. It is never paid out to shareholders for holding shares.
What's Top Salesperson?: Whoever sells the most on the billboard in a quarter, by XCP. Your sales are your own paints plus paints by people you referred: share milliondollarbillboard.net/?ref= followed by your address (it's on your employee page), and anything they paint on the site within 7 days counts for you too. The winner gets a TOP SALESPERSON badge on their business card and in the org chart, and a mention on the earnings call after each dividend. That's the whole prize.

4. Your desk

How do I sign in?: On the lobby page, with XCP Wallet, or with any wallet that can sign a message (pick “Other wallet”, sign the message HR gives you, paste the signature). Legacy (1…), SegWit (bc1q…) and Taproot (bc1p…) addresses all work. Signing costs nothing and moves nothing.
What's the DAY ONE stamp?: Sign in and put a name on your business card before November 1 and your card and offer letter get a permanent DAY ONE stamp. It's a badge and nothing more.
What is clock-in?: From opening day, once a day (UTC), free. HR keeps your days on the job and your streak. Nobody checks what you do after clocking in.
Can I change the name on my card?: Yes, any time: up to 24 letters, numbers and basic punctuation. Keep it work-appropriate; HR is watching, sort of.

5. Leaving the company

What happens if I sell all my shares?: You resign. HR writes your resignation letter for you, files it at /inc/resignations and, from opening day, reads it out in the company Telegram.
And if I come back?: Buy shares again and you're rehired. HR will pretend nothing happened.

6. The shareholder meeting

When is it?: After every dividend, for a week. The first one opens when Q1 is paid (Sunday, November 15) and closes Sunday, November 22. Everything happens on the meeting page.
What do we vote on?: One ballot: how big the next dividend should be (1× to 10× the base rate of one certificate per million shares), and, every other meeting, who sits on the Board (back up to 2 candidates). Project briefs join the ballot from meeting #2.
How much is my vote worth?: One vote per whole million shares you hold when voting closes. Voting is free: sign in and sign the ballot. You can change your ballot until the meeting closes.
How is the result decided?: The multiplier is the weighted middle of all the votes (the median), so one big holder voting 10× can't drag it up alone. At an election, the 2 candidates with the most backing take the seats; a tie goes to whoever filed first. The result needs at least 10 voters with a million shares or more. Without that, the next quarter pays 1× and the Board doesn't change.
Can I run for the Board?: If you're a Director or above (1,000,000 shares or more), yes: file a short pitch on the meeting page and pay a 100,000 FAKEDIVIDEND filing fee to the company. Nominations for the first meeting open on opening day. You can back yourself. Elections are at meetings #1, #3, #5 and so on, so a seat lasts two quarters.
What does the Board do?: The two elected members and Management (the game's dev) sit together, the way Bitcorns had two elected seats and its dev. 2 of the 3 approve or reject community cards and sign off on delivered project briefs, never their own. A card still undecided when the next Board is seated goes to a fresh vote by the new one.

7. Project briefs

What's a project brief?: A proposal to do real work for the company, with a budget in XCP or FAKEDIVIDEND: art, memes, a tool, an event, whatever shareholders will vote for. Briefs start with shareholder meeting #2. They live on the Projects page.
How do I file one?: Sign in on the Projects page during the week before a meeting, describe the work and how you'll prove it's done, set a budget, and pay the 250,000 FAKEDIVIDEND filing fee before voting opens. Any shareholder can file, up to three per meeting.
How does it get approved and paid?: Shareholders vote yes or no on the meeting ballot. It passes with quorum and more yes than no. Passed briefs are funded in order of yes votes while the treasury can cover them, each at most 25% of the treasury in its currency. Do the work, post the proof on the brief's page, and once 2 of the 3 on the Board sign off (never on their own brief), Management sends the budget from the treasury.
Where does the money come from?: The treasury: the company's billboard revenue and the filing fees it collects. It only ever pays for delivered work, never for holding shares. Management can refuse a brief for fraud or stolen work.

8. Community cards

What are community cards?: Art by anyone, framed in one of our program windows and issued on Counterparty as its own asset. Cards the Board approves become official FAKEDIVIDEND Inc. cards and go in the Art Department.
How do I make one?: Download a frame from the submit page, put your art behind it, and issue your card asset: indivisible, at least 3 copies, supply locked, with the description pointing at our card file (the submit page tells you exactly what to write). Then submit it and pay the 100,000 FAKEDIVIDEND filing fee.
What happens if it's approved?: You send 33% of the supply to the company treasury; the rest is yours to keep, sell or give away. The company mostly uses its cards for bounties.
And if it isn't?: The fee isn't refunded and the card is still yours, just not official. No stolen art and nothing illegal; past that, taste is the Board's call.
Where did the idea come from?: From Rare Pepe, the community that started trading card art on Counterparty back in 2016, and from Bitcorns and the Bitcorn Foundation, whose card program showed how community submissions and approvals should work. We borrowed heavily, with thanks.

9. After opening day

What's coming?: Opening day on November 1: clock-in, Board nominations and card submissions open. The Q1 dividend on November 15, then the first shareholder meeting (November 15–22), which sets Q2's dividend and seats the first Board. Project briefs start with the second meeting (filing opens November 22, voting November 29). Anything else is announced in the Telegram before it starts.
Where do I ask questions?: The company Telegram ↗. Management's memos are also kept in the memo archive.

Section 10 has been redacted by Management.

Section 10. Divvy is not allowed in the boardroom. He knows why. Employees who find this section are reminded that there is no Section 10, and that Management never cleans out its Documents folder.